I have to admit, in beginning to write this post, I am at a loss as for where to start. Nonplussed, really – for the home that I am about to show you defies categorization, classification, or even explanation. Any single adjective refuses to cling to its indescribable façade. Instead, I find myself dumbstruck in the sheer overwhelming “it-ness” that is this awe-inspiring mansion.
Where to begin? Well, how about just inside the front door:
See what I mean? What can be said?
You are now in the foyer of what is quite likely the largest home in Carmel, Indiana. This is the former abode of Indiana native Richard Deer, founder of King Richard Cigars. Apparently the market for the smelly sticks is booming, because King Richard and his wife have relocated to Miami, leaving behind this house. Priced at $5.5 million, it is sure to attract just the right kind of buyer.
The 23,000 square foot manse is an amalgamation of every good thing in the book, from the granite-pillared central entry to the walk-in humidor to the pair of themed basement bars. Oh, don’t worry – we’ll get there. But let’s continue with the tour first.
From the central entry of the home, we will travel into the main living areas. Here, we have the vintage-style black-and-color-blocked kitchen (does 30 years qualify an item as “vintage?”). We also see the jester-themed dining room and the wood-paneled office, which may just be the most conventional room in the whole building. If you’re a collector of pricey smokes, there’s a large walk-in humidor, whose entire intent is diametrically-opposed to the large gym just down the hall.
Back to the main living room, let’s venture upstairs and check out the master bedroom (just the master – I think viewing all four bedrooms and eight baths would exhaust your visual fortitude). The master suite is one large, long, purple-carpeted room. For sleeping, there’s the bedroom portion, with its wide windows and sitting area. Past the free-standing fireplace is a whirlpool bath, the description of which can only be attempted with “elysian”. But even that falls short. Another sight to leave you speechless: the armory-come-bathroom and the purple-papered dressing room.
Whew. Okay, let’s check out the bars, shall we? Carmel has no shortage of well-reviewed nightlife spots; however, if you’re not really down for a drink at The Stacked Pickle, why not head to the basement? The urban speakeasy is modeled after Chicago’s Rush Street nightclubs, and includes gaming tables set beneath gritty neon lights.
If the city ain’t your scene, maybe another galaxy is. The only earthly thing about the Star Wars bar is the billiards table centered in front of the space-age window. Otherwise, you can belly up to the bar next to Darth Vader, trade stories with a Storm Trooper, and hey, isn’t that R2-D2 hanging out next to the pinball machine?
But perhaps you want to really kick up your heels. In that case, head over to the 4,000 square foot juke joint ballroom, where you can dance the night away. Or catch a flick in the home theater – just don’t get freaked out by the Predator lurking in the corner.
Exhausted from our little tour? Come, let’s go hang out by the pedestaled pool and contemplate the inadequacy of the English language.
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